When Insecurities Kick In.....

I'm going to be completely honest right now: I don't always like myself.

I know, sounds crazy, right?

Self-love is something I struggle with. I can always find the things I don't like about myself, but not always the things I do.

And I don't want to sound super depressing, but loving yourself is hard. It doesn't just affect you though. When I feel insecure, sometimes I find myself saying, "well I'm not as loud as her," or "well, I'm prettier than she is." It's not just a personal problem, it can affect others.

And we all know how things get. You might start making fun of people in order to bring yourself up.

It may make others think higher of you, but it only makes you feel worse at the end of the day.

Having insecurities isn't a bad thing. Everyone has them. Even those models and rich people you see on YouTube and social media. They have them too. But they are bad when you let them control you and start to think badly of yourself. It can lead to depression and worse.

Here are some things I've been doing, and you can do, when your insecurities kick in:

1. Remember that God loves every part of you. If you're embarrassed about your laugh, or your face, or your quirky habit, remember that God loves that about you. He loves when you laugh so loudly that everyone goes quiet. He loves that your hair is always messy. He loves that you say the dumbest things. God gave you those quirks, those little things, and he loves that about you. Try telling yourself that next time you're embarrassed or insecure about something.

2. Distance yourself from things that make you feel insecure. YouTube, Instagram, magazines, blogs, any place you find yourself comparing yourself to others. Sometimes we don't think about it in the moment, but later you might compare yourself to them. Like I said, they have insecurities too, whether you can tell or not. The more distance you have from things to compare yourself to, the less likely you'll compare yourself to them (if that makes sense).

3. I know that I tend to point out my insecurities a lot. I'll say, "ugh, I look like a mop today," or "I'm terrible at sports" and even sometimes even more embarrassing things. There are different reasons why people say this:
- they want people to argue and tell them that they look great or are good at it etc.
- they genuinely think that they look bad or are bad at something
- they want to say it as if they already know, so people won't tell them that they are ugly or bad at something

I've done all of those things, but they never help. It just makes you feel worse when you point them out. And honestly, people don't want to hear about it, and it isn't flattering. Even when I've said those things, hearing people say I'm wrong has never really helped. Avoid saying these things, they can just make you feel worse!

4. Remember that you're not alone. You might think that you're fat, but someone might love to have a body like you. You might think your hair is ugly, but there might be someone who wished they had hair like yours. This doesn't mean you should be cocky, but just remember that other people are insecure too, and the thing you hate about yourself could be the thing they love, so don't change! Unless God's calling you to change, of course :)

5. Get your best friend or a couple of good friends and try this: everyone goes around and tells their insecurities, then everyone goes around and says the things they like about themselves, and then everyone goes around and says the things they like about each other.
It's kinda like what I said before, it'll give you a perspective.

Doing these things may not take away your insecurities, but hopefully they will help when your insecurities kick in, because that can be the worst. I want you to know that you are not alone!!!!

And really quickly, I wanted to share this verse with you:

"But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look on his appearance or the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.'"

That just goes to show that even if you think other people are better than you based on their appearances or the things they can do, remember: God looks on the inside, and that matters so much more than what's on the outside. So even though you are an amazing and beautiful person, don't stress about it or brag about it. Good people may like you for your looks or the things you can do, but they'll only love you for who you are. I wish I could say that everyone is like that, but that's not the truth. The people that don't love you for who you are don't deserve you.

I hope this post was helpful, and remember: the person who made you and everyone else says that you're awesome and beautiful. Isn't that amazing?! God thinks you are amazing and special, and nothing can change that. You are AMAZING!! Remind yourself of these things when you feel insecure, because it happens. You can't avoid the thoughts, but you can choose how to deal with them. You are NOT alone!

- Gracie :)